Catching up...

I realize this is my second post in the same day, but I need to catch up!

On Monday, I attended an all day staff meeting for work. It ran from 9-5 and when I left at 5pm they were still talking. I had an appointment that I needed to go to, and at that point I figured the issues would be ironed out by those who will be working there over the next year. I have received a few e-mails since asking for my input on a few issues, and I appreciate this. I like the fact that I'm still considered part of the team, and my opinion matters, even though the changes won't affect me until 2012 (hopefully!!!).

At about 3pm-ish that day, I noticed my back was starting to hurt. I blamed it on the crappy office chairs. When I got up to leave, I noticed my stomach was just sore and achy. I figured that it was just from fatigue. I finally got home after 6pm, and at around 7pm my DH and I decided to go have some dinner. My stomach was getting increasingly sore, so I thought "we'll go have something to eat..and come right home". On the way to the restaurant, I started having painful spasms that started at my hips and wrapped right around the front of my uterus. They were enough to take my breath away! When we arrived at the restaurant and I stood up, it seemed to feel better, but I was still uncomfortable during dinner. When we were finished eating, my DH said "which hospital are we going to?" We have a local hospital (Waterville; 10-15 minutes away) and we have access to the hospital in Fredericton as well (1hour away). My specialist is in the Fredericton hospital, and my OB is in Fredericton as well. The local hospital doesn't actually have an OB, they just have family doctors who have an interest in obstetrics who staff the Labour and Delivery area. When I got in the car, the spasms started again, and we decided that we would probably receive more reassurance from Fredericton, so we started driving. I had two more spasms during the drive down.

When I arrived, I went up to L&D where they settled us into a room. Not just any room...the EXACT same room that I delivered Kherrington in. We asked the nurse, (who was the same nurse who was working the night I went into labour!), if we could have another room, and she said that they were all full. My thoughts were "Ok, well, we've got to deal with it at some point". It was difficult to walk into the room, but it was set up differently than when I was in there, so that made it seem different. To top it off, the nurse who was there when Kherrington was born, was also on the desk at the nurse's station. The only thing that was different was the doctor. It was a bit surreal, but it was OK too. When I got pregnant with "Bump" I said that I really hoped that we wouldn't have to see the same doctor (who delivered Kheri), wouldn't have to be in the same delivery room, and just would have a different experience. We're having a different experience...but "Bump" is making us deal with some of her big sister's ghosts before her own big day. I've seen the OB who delivered Kheri twice now, I've been in the bathroom where I spent an hour in the tub the evening before I went into labour, and I've been in the same delivery room, and seen some of the nurses.

They had me change, give a urine sample to check for a bladder infection, and then strapped me into the fetal heart monitor, and did a round of vitals. My BP was 128/74 which is a little high for me, but they certainly weren't concerned about it, and I know it was likely due to anxiety levels. The nurse talked to us, and I described my pain to her. She said that the baby looked good on the monitor, but left us hooked up to it for a while, and went and talked with the doctor. A resident came in, and chatted with us, she poked and pushed on the sides of my stomach and asked me if it was tender...which it was. She said that what I was experiencing was round ligament pain, and that it was normal, and is usually significantly worse in second pregnancies than in first pregnancies. The doctor came in shortly after and told us the same thing. We talked them into looking at her with an ultrasound for extra reassurance. We know that the ultrasound in L&D isn't a "diagnostic" tool by any means, but they did a quick biophysical profile, which she passed in the first 2 minutes!

So, "bump" is fine... I'm a mess. Anxiety has jumped a little, and I'm glad she's an active baby! The worst part is in the back of my mind, I know she's fine..but then I quickly remember that I had the same thoughts with Kherrington and she wasn't fine. I think of all the things that could be wrong. I asked my DH "Do you wonder if we would be better off not knowing too much? Not knowing all the things that could go wrong? To be blissfully ignorant? To expect that everything is alright?". It is hard to say... knowing too much can be a good thing because we might catch something that would normally be overlooked. But on the other hand... I'm convinced I'm going crazy. Only 4 weeks and 3 days to go..thank goodness I have that to focus on!