*sigh* Let the anxiety begin!

I'm 30 weeks along today, and I think my anxiety is at an all time high. As long as baby keeps moving, I think I'll make it through without losing my sanity! The hardest part is not spending the day on the couch doing kick counts! Let me tell you why my anxiety is now so high..

We had our regular checkup appointments with both the OB and the specialist on Thursday. The OB appointment went as expected. I've gained another 2 lbs in 2 weeks, blood pressure was great, and baby sounded very happy on the doppler. The doctor asked about the spotting, and said that she didn't see the need to check me and disturb anything. We talked about my last round of blood work. I have A- blood, and my DH has A+ blood, so this means I get to have a shot of Rhogam in the hip. I had the shot in the hip at 26 weeks when they did my glucose tolerance test. Apparently, the hospital gave me my Rhogam before doing an antibody screen, so of course, my antibodies came back positive. It is likely that they are positive due to the Rhogam circulating in my bloodstream, and not from any possible cross-contamination of baby's blood and my blood (if the baby has a + blood type, I would build up antibodies, and reject future pregnancies). They want to do another midstream urine culture at my next appointment to ensure that I don't have any UTIs developing. So all in all, that appointment went as expected.

In the afternoon, we went to the specialist for an ultrasound. First I will say, that the general outcome was good. The baby looks good, and is weighing in at approximately 3lbs 5ozs, and managed to put on close to a pound since our last appointment! She was making breathing movements, but we weren't able to get any decent ultrasound pictures because of the way she was positioned, and the fact that she's running out of room in there. While doing the ultrasound scan, the Doctor pushed on my tummy with the probe while measuring the blood vessel flow in the umbilical cord. When she did this, the baby's heart rate dropped... It dropped so low that my DH asked the Doctor if it was my heartbeat, and not the baby's. Then DH asked why, which was going to be the next question out of my mouth anyway. The Doctor said that it was likely a normal reaction from the baby to the pressure on the tummy. Well, then I started to worry. Maybe I shouldn't be pushing on her to wake her up?! Maybe I shouldn't be pushing those arms and feet back into place when I find them in my ribs, or approaching my bladder!? The questions started, and the doctor said that when we were done with the ultrasound, she would take us over to Labour and Delivery and hook us up to the monitors for a Non-Stress test (NST). She said that we would also start weekly biophysical profiles starting next week. Then she explained that the amniotic fluid levels were on the "low side of normal". I guess, that the fluid levels should measure over 2cm, and she found two pockets of fluid. One pocket measured 2.71 and the other 3.14. She said that the low fluid measurements were likely because of the way the baby is positioned. She seems to be floating at the top of the fluid, with the pockets of fluid underneath of her. The Doctor wasn't able to get pictures or measurements of these pockets because of her positioning. As she was explaining this to us, she found a large pocket of fluid, and when she tried to measure it...the baby moved into the pocket of fluid! We all had a little giggle about it (I think my "giggle" was more of a nervous giggle than anything else). She said that as a precaution, we would do the biophysicals and keep an eye on it.

We also discussed the possibility of an amniocentesis at 36 weeks to check for CF and lung development for an early delivery. She said that if I wanted the amnio done, she would do it. I mentioned to her that the OB said that I should be administered steriods for the baby's lung development before the amnio, just in case the amnio puts me into labour and/or breaks my water. The specialist said that she didn't think that would be necessary. She said that the risk of complications with an amnio at 36 weeks is really very low (1%), and if it did put me into labour, the steroids could be administered during my labour if they thought that lung development would be an issue. She said that we would discuss the amnio again at 34 weeks. She mentioned that she would be comfortable inducing me without an amnio at 38 weeks, given my previous loss. The OB said that she wanted to wait until 38 weeks + 5 days. I am really hoping for the induction at 38 weeks, those extra 5 days will seem like an eternity! The specialist said that ultimately they would listen to me, and what my concerns or wishes are when it comes to the amnio and an induction. Part of me doesn't want to have the amnio just for the simple reason that it HURTS!.. We'll see when the time comes.

So we went over to Labour and Delivery to hook me up to the monitors. What a surreal experience that was! I haven't been in there since we had Kherrington. We actually had to walk right by the room where Kheri was born at one point. They ended up doing the NST in the antenatal clinic, which is in a room in the front corner of L& D, because there were no beds available. I had to use the washroom before I laid down on the bed, and the bathroom she took me to was the "tub room" where DH and I had a whirlpool bath the night before Kheri was born. It was all just so surreal. The NST went fine, but I had to stop watching the heart rate numbers because they just made me worry. I think the nurse to could sense the tension and she made conversation with me for a while.

So to sum it up, I left the specialist appointment at the hospital about 45 minutes later than I expected, and somewhat of a nervous wreck. Now I am tracking my kick counts, just in case I need to show them how movements have slowed. I know her movements will "naturally" slow down over the next few weeks because she will run out of room. But that fact will not bring me any comfort. I think it might be a long 8 weeks...